Sorry seems to be the easy word ....
Stop saying Sorry !
A word to the over use of ‘sorry’ and the nature of an apologetic culture, beaten into submissive behaviour. Sorry has become an automated response for so many people and is a very difficult habit to break.
“Sorry, but …..” “Sorry to disturb you ….” “Sorry would you mind ……”
As an Englishman living in Bulgaria I have become keenly aware of the inauthenticity of English politeness. A politeness that propagates deception, that is disingenuous and crawls with pretentiousness.
The word ‘sorry’ has become a pathetic excuse used in subservience, presenting a willingness to obey, diminishing responsibility and conditioning a belief of insignificance, being less important than others.
A politeness that propagates deception and diminishes responsibility
The habitual and irresponsible use of ‘sorry’ makes it disrespectful and disingenuous. Furthermore, the repeated use of ‘sorry’ is disempowering, perpetuating a victim consciousness, which imbalances relationships and makes everyone feel uncomfortable.
I believe ‘sorry’ is a word that should be used sparingly and with meaning, because there is great responsibility in taking ownership of one’s mistakes with respect for oneself and the other. Used appropriately saying sorry is empowering, because it is about acknowledgement, self worth and expresses an appreciation of value in relationship.
“I acknowledge my mistake I am sorry it did not work out”
Personally I prefer the practice of gratitude for all experiences and situations. If I am late (a rare occurrence) I thank the other for their patience in waiting for me. This action of gratitude is empowering for both self and other, retaining balance with positive harmony.
“Thank you for your patience”
Gratitude practice brings us into harmony with the present moment and the is-ness of life. Something I so love about life in a Bulgarian village is the feeling of realness in everyday experiences. The absence of pretension, there is no hiding behind a smoke screen of excuses. This is life, this is living, with all its imperfections.
For me life in the wild nature of Eastern Europe feels in a different dimension, offering an opportunity of genuine experience unhindered by the need to make it feel good. No excuses, no judgement, no hiding the reality of life.
What about you, how do you feel the contrast between worlds of your experience?
Which do you prefer?
Sorry assumes a vibration of being all wrong and a judgment of the reality as it exists. An implication that there is no value in the experience as it is. There is no honor there just a declaration of shortage and in my opinion this serves none of the parties involved.